BY LAWAL MARYAM OLATUNDUN
Well, the fastest way to deal with toxic ones in our life is to not deal with them.
Funny, its not that easy, easier said than done.
Who is a toxic person?
Simply, a toxic person is anyone who kills your mental health and/or disturbs your peace of mind.
Irwin described a toxic person as anyone who is unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy emotionally.
Someone who brings you down more than up.
Some Types of Toxic People:
Who only care about themselves; believe they are better than everyone around them and they lack empathy.
Try to control everything around them(Boss of all, Know-all, ITK) and they make people around them feel they know nothing.
The Drama Magnet
They pull drama around them everywhere, they feed off gossips and make an uncomfortable zone for those around them.
The Energy Vampire
They create problems and feeds on negativity, they criticize and bully people and they drain people off their positive energy.
The Compulsive Liar
Who are also known as master of guilt trips. They tell white and black lies constantly and manipulate others.
They are very dangerous ones, they are enemies of progress who mooch people off so they themselves can feel better, they are never truly happy of their fellow’s progress because they pretend to be and they usually play the victim.
The following are some ways one can detect a person is toxic. One has to he very observable to identify these signs because most of the toxic ones are pretenders. Some of the signs are:
- They constantly see themselves as VICTIMS
- They try to control others by guilt tripping
- After an encounter with them, you’re left blank, there’s always a feeling an emotional distress.
- Intimidating is their best device
- They are needy and force you to go out of your way to satisfy them
- They are extremely disrespectful and always seem to get their way
- They are Critics who do not gave the validation to be one
- They do not take ‘No’
- They are self-absorbed
- They are CYNICS
- They give backhand compliments and praises
- They could be aggressive, if not, slow poisons.
Asides from knowing the signs, assess they way you feel around them. Ask yourself if “you’re feeling emotionally drained around them”, “if your walking on eggshells, you’re being intimidated”, ” do you feel less around them”. These questions enable you to know if you’re accommodating a toxic soul in your life.
Ways to Deal with Toxic People
a. Teach them how you expect to be treated and leaving an impression that you don’t accept less
b. Show care and attention
c. Protect yourself from harm; some are aggressive
d. Set and maintain boundaries
e. Trust your Judgement
f. Ignore them and their negativity
g. Stop compromising
h. Create a greater sense of purpose
i. Try not to fit in
j. Listen to your gut
k. Don’t act like their toxicity is OK!
l. Speak up
m. Walk away/Move on
n. And lastly, take time for yourself.