Women today, perhaps more than ever before, require a clear understanding of how they should relate to their husbands. Indeed, the significant social changes brought about by the women’s liberation movement over the last few decades have caused such consternation that the concept of “roles” is repugnant to some. They believe that if they follow some sort of “outdated standard,” they will lose their identity and freedom.
While we are all called to help others, the Bible places a special emphasis on this responsibility for wives. According to Genesis, God realized that it was not good for man to be alone, so He decided to create a “helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18). It’s worth noting that the Hebrew meaning of the word “helper” in this passage is later found in the Bible to refer only to God as He helps us. The fact that this same word is used to describe a wife indicates that we women have tremendous power for good in our husbands’ lives. God created wives to assist their husbands in becoming all that God intended for them to be.
2. You should respect your husband.
Paul says in Ephesians 5:33, “… the wife must respect her husband.” You reverence, notice, regard, honor, prefer, and esteem your husband when you respect him. It entails respecting his opinion, admiring his wisdom and character, appreciating his dedication to you, and taking into account his needs and values. Our husbands have numerous requirements. The myth of the macho man is that he is self-contained, independent, and invulnerable. Dennis once gave me a list of what he considered to be some of the most basic needs that most men have: Self-assurance in his own masculinity being listened to Companionship to be required Meeting these needs is what it means to respect your husband. I try to encourage Dennis by being his number one fan, for example, to boost his confidence. Every husband wants his wife to be on his team, to coach him when necessary, and to be his biggest fan. A husband requires a wife who believes in him, appreciates him, and cheers him on as he goes out into the world every day.
3. You adore your husband. Titus 2:4 instructs wives to “love their husbands.” “Unconditional acceptance” is a good description of the type of love your husband requires. In other words, accept your husband as he is—a flawed individual. Love also entails committing to a sexual relationship that is mutually satisfying. I understand that there is a lot more to love than sex, but we’re looking at how to fulfill God’s command to love our husbands. As a result, we must consider love from their point of view, not just our own. According to surveys, sex is one of a man’s most important needs, if not the most important. When a wife is resistant to intimacy, uninterested, or only passively interested, her husband may feel rejected. It will sever his self-image, tear him to the core of his being, and isolate him. My husband’s sexual needs should take precedence over menus, housework, projects, activities, and even the children. It doesn’t mean I should think about sex all day, every day, but it does mean I should remember my husband and his needs. That means I’m reserving some of my energy for him. This prevents me from being self-centered and living solely for my own needs. This prevents me from being self-centered and living solely for my own needs and desires. Maintaining that focus assists me in overcoming isolation in our marriage.
4. Submit to your husband’s leadership. Many women become angry and even hostile when the word “submission” is mentioned. Some husbands and wives believe that submission implies that women are somehow inferior to men. Some women believe that submitting will cause them to lose their identity and become non-persons. Others are afraid (and rightly so) that submission will lead to being used or abused. Another common misunderstanding is that submission implies blind obedience on the part of the woman. She is unable to question her husband and must remain obediently barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.